Bittersweet Sorrow

I'm going home tomorrow.

Indeed, Shakespeare had it right when he said "parting is such sweet sorrow." Tonight at youth, there was a lot of people hugging me, a lot of tearful "I don't want you to leave's" and "I'll miss you's". I can't believe I'm already leaving, when friendships have only just begun to blossom into something wonderful! I can't believe that these faces which I've learned to look forward to seeing all week, these voices which have impacted my life, these smiles that have been my light on many a dark day - these things won't be an active part of my life anymore.

Maybe traveling isn't such a brilliant thing. I meet people, grow attached to them, learn to love them, and then they are snatched from me by the cruel fingers of time. All I have left is shadows and memories.

Oh, but memories.

Jonathan's '30' miles an hour; my long, deep discussion with Steph, drinking 'bubble tea' with Bayley, kicking Cary when he hugged me, teasing Shanelle about her drawings, stealing Spencer's books, almost getting in a wreck with Susy, coloring with Tori, ramsacking Harrison's house for pictures. All of these things will remain vivid in my memory forever, to recall when I need to smile, to tell my children about on rainy days.

I cannot wait to get home tomorrow, to hug the very life out of my family, to have a cup of coffee out of my coffee pot, to plunge back into my crazy life and all it's random glory. I can't wait to share secret jokes with Joanna again, to talk for hours on the phone to Heather, to play with my nieces. Work in our garden, be among my books, prepare for Thanksgiving, and sit up late drinking tea and writing.

But I don't want to leave either.

See my predicament?

Thus the bitter sweetness. People come and go in our lives, and for those of us who tend towards emotional attached, the 'go' part is never easy. But God put them in my life for a reason, I believe and embrace that with all my heart, and I supposed even if I never get to see them again, I shall always be grateful for the way they impacted me. And who knows but that our paths may cross again?

Texas, family, friends, here I come. You may all expect a life-threatening hug from me sometime in the near future.